Predicting the BRIT Awards 2016

IT’S FEBRUARY, which means its awards season, and while the rest of the world is living the glitz and glamour of the Grammys, the Oscars and the BAFTAs, you, dear readers join me indulging in the stale tripe of the BRIT Awards. But hey, while they might be as exciting as watching ice cream melt, at least we can have a spot of fun attempting to guess what this year holds in store for the unsuspecting viewers of ITV, especially if Madonna falls over *chuckles wryly*.

In the year of its conception, the BRIT predictions got 8/10 correct, but last year I flagged, bringing it down to 6/10. While the BRITs often seem predictable, they can sometimes throw a curveball; never forget the time Laura Marling beat Cheryl Cole and the whole country came to a standstill. Like every year, I won’t be predicting British Artist Video, mostly because I can’t be bothered to watch them all.

So, without further ado: The BRIT Awards.

To read the full list of nominations, click here.

adele heloo

Mastercard British Album of the Year
Who will probably win: Adele
Who deserves to win: Jamie XX

This one is dead set. Adele returned to the scene and the Pop scene automatically started ripping its skin off with excitement. So yes, I can say without a shadow of doubt, that 25 will win, and if it doesn’t may all hell rain down upon us. But Jamie XX’s solo debut was a beautiful, funky, brilliant dance album, and rightfully deserves this crown. But when you’re up against monoliths such as Adele and Coldplay, it seems almost hopeless to even consider victory.

British Female Solo Artist
Who will probably win: Adele
Who deserves to win: Florence + the Machine

Much like the Album of the Year award, Adele will no doubt dominate this category. But that’s not to say she isn’t against some stiff competition. Florence + the Machine’s third album was by far their best, giving us a clean sound that upped their game from Ceremonials, yet still churned out some decent tunes. Elsewhere, while Laura Marling’s Short Movie wasn’t perhaps as successful as her past releases, it was still a good folk album. And for some reason Amy Winehouse has been nominated, which is odd, considering I thought she had a relatively quiet 2015.

British Male Solo Artist
Who will probably win: Mark Ronson
Who deserves to win: Jamie XX or Apex Twin

Mark Ronson has been all over the show this past year, and with his win for Record of the Year at the Grammys this year, he surely must have this one cemented. But when it comes to consistently great records, this award should go to either Jamie XX or Aphex Twin. As previously mentioned, Jamie XX’s debut is pure excellence, and while his last album came out in 2014, Aphex Twin’s Syro was one of his best albums to date (and made it on to our end of year list). Plus, he’s such a left field choice in terms of the BRITs it would be frankly hilarious to see him win. We can all pray that Richard D. James gets to awkwardly walk on stage amongst a sea or 2D pop stars.

British Group
Who will probably win: Years & Years
Who deserves to win: Foals

Christ, this is slim pickings. I mean, Coldplay, One Direction AND Years & Years? How do you people sleep at night? Blur and Foals are admirable nods at least, and Foals deserve to win. Why? Because they’ve developed into an indie band that can actually play arenas and headline Reading Festival, and all with keeping the majority of their integrity alive. What Went Down was an example of what Foals can achieve, and if they don’t get honoured for that, then screw everything.

International Male Solo Artist
Who will probably win: Kendrick Lamar
Who deserves to win: Kendrick Lamar

If Kendrick doesn’t win this award then there’s no hope for any of us. Aside from losing to Taylor Swift for Album of the Year at this year’s Grammys, he did pretty excellently. To Pimp a Butterfly has been universally recognised as one of the best albums, not just of last year, but of the decade. Surely, surely the BRITs can recognise the importance of this album and why it deserves this award. And yes, while Father John Misty topped our end of year list, Kendrick still deserves to win, because of the sheer importance of his latest release, and the effect it’s had on the music industry. But saying that, Drake, The Weeknd and Justin Bieber all had good years, so who knows?

International Female Solo Artist
Who will probably win: Meghan Trainor
Who deserves to win: Courtney Barnett

My reasoning for this one comes from the recent Grammy awards, where Meghan effing Trainor beat Courtney Barnett in the best new artist category. I mean, what the hell, Grammys? I predict a similar situation at this year’s BRITS, with Trainor annoying picking up this award, which should be awarded to Barnett, or hell, even Bjork, who had a spectacular 2015. But, I’ve been wrong before, and often even the BRITs are prone to surprise.

kendrick

International Group
Who will probably win: Alabama Shakes or Tame Impala
Who deserves to win: Tame Impala

This is a tricky category to call. Tame Impala had a great 2015, with their third album, Currents, climbing high on our end of year list, along with Eagles of Death Metal. Alabama Shakes also did pretty well at this year’s Grammys, even receiving a nomination for Album of the Year. As a result, I wouldn’t be surprised if they won, but Tame Impala have seen a massive surge in their popularity recently, so don’t write them off as outsiders just yet.

British Producer
Who will probably win: Mark Ronson
Who deserves to win: Mike Crossey

Going on big names alone, Mike Crossey deserves to win this year. Why? Well just looking at his recent work, you have his stellar production on My Love is Cool, as well as Jake Bugg’s debut, The 1975 and The Courteeners. But Mark Ronson will win. Why? Two words: ‘Uptown Funk’. The sheer appeal of that song will surely win this for Ronson, as well as choice picks from his last full release.

British Single
Who will probably win: Jess Glynne – Hold My Hand
Who deserves to win: Adele – Hello

Fuck me, I’m struggling here. This is the playlist that will torment me for the rest of eternity when my soul finds itself in the fiery pits of hell. I can safely say that there isn’t a decent song on this list; Adele’s ‘Hello’ gets the pick because it’s the best of a bad bunch, followed swiftly by Little Mix’s ‘Black Magic’. So why Jess Glynne to win? Well, it’s an educated guess. Ever since her debut with Clean Bandit, Jess Glynne has been everywhere, and has been nominated for a fair few BRITs this year. ‘Hold My Hand’ has one of those annoying uplifting beats that Radio One and such like love, so it’d be no surprise if she walked away with this one.

British Breakthrough Act
Who will probably win: Jess Glynne
Who deserves to win: Wolf Alice

Much like the British Single Award, Jess Glynne will most likely pick this one up, maybe with some stiff competition from James Bay. Sure, they’ve both ‘broken through’ per say, but have they done albums as good as Wolf Alice’s My Love is Cool? Well, that’s subjective, but the point is My Love is Cool was a good first effort for an up and coming alternative band, certainly more than the throwaway punk of Catfish and the Bottlemen and the dreary proto-Folk of James Bay. Not only that, but after years of touring and recording, it’s nice to see the band get some recognition.

Florence-The-Machine-2015-Tom-Beard

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